Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Doubting your abilities? Feeling like a fraud? Waiting for someone to catch you out? You might be experiencing Imposter Syndrome.

Google the syndrome and you’ll get more than 12,800,000 search results. It’s not a new phenomenon and there’s a lot of information about it online, from articles and Instagram graphics to talks and podcasts. I even wrote a blog post about it myself early in my Tech career, when I first learned about the Dunning-Kruger effect and realised the feelings I was having were common.

I think most people are familiar with Imposter Syndrome by now, but do we really understand what causes it and how to tackle it? With the correct information and tools, we can set ourselves up for success.

My personal experience

In the two and a half years since I wrote that post about Imposter Syndrome, I have been on my own journey with confidence. As the only woman in both Engineering teams I’ve been in and with a background in Literature and books rather than Computer Science and hardware, I’ve often felt like I don’t belong.

Everyone warned me that the first year of work would be tough and that no bootcamp can prepare you for the realities of working as an Engineer, I just wasn’t expecting such dramatic highs and lows. I felt on top of the world when I was able to figure out a problem, fix a bug or deliver a big project, but as soon as I didn’t understand something, I immediately concluded that I was stupid, slow, or letting people down. Imposter Syndrome reigned on.

After months of struggling with these feelings of inadequacy, I set myself a New Year’s resolution to work really hard to try and increase my confidence. I decided I would commit to six months of applying myself and see if it made a difference, both to how I felt and how I performed at work.

With the support of my wonderful manager, I signed up to a series of sessions with an internal coach at Gousto. We discussed my main goal (to get promoted) and my biggest obstacle (imposter syndrome) and developed a plan of action. My coach helped me identify the limiting beliefs which were holding me back, taught me some useful techniques, and helped me to create a more productive working environment. I’ll share some of the techniques I learned in a later post.

Once I started believing in myself internally, I learned to stand up for myself externally and convince others that I was worth believing in too. Over the next few months, I grew in confidence, learning to speak up in meetings and challenge colleagues, and I delivered some big projects that I’m really proud of. Due to all this hard work, I was promoted to Mid-Level Software Engineer in September, less than two years since starting my first Engineering role. It was a long and challenging process and I would not have been able to do it if I’d let the Imposter Syndrome win. I had to learn to quieten those thoughts, get my head down, and work towards my goals.

Women of Silicon Roundabout

When I saw the schedule for the Women of Silicon Roundabout Tech Conference 2023, I knew I wanted to attend the workshop on overcoming imposter syndrome. Although I had a premium pass, which granted access to 66+ workshops, this one was fully booked by the time I organised my schedule. I’d resigned myself to asking colleagues to share their notes on the event, but Kelly persuaded me to come along anyway and we were able to squeeze in at the back. Were we the real imposters at the Imposter Syndrome workshop? Perhaps…But it was an insightful and moving session and I learned a lot.

The workshop was hosted by Deepa Nair and Beth McIntyre from NetCompany. They shared their own experiences of Imposter Syndrome and explained some common traits of those who suffer from it:

• Feeling like you’ve just been lucky
• Feeling like you need to work harder than others
• Feeling like you need to complete everything at once, without any help
• Recognising that other people have more confidence in you than you do in yourself
• Feeling like you have a lot to prove
• Feeling like you don’t belong
• Feeling like you aren’t good enough
• Dwelling on the things that don’t go as well
• Being overly critical of yourself
• Feeling like you don’t know as much as everyone else

Do you recognise any of these traits? I certainly do. 39% of the UK population experience days when they feel bad at their jobs on a weekly basis; 1 in 20 feel like this daily. It’s a common experience, and one that is shared by many women in particular.

The types

The speakers explained that there are five different types of ‘imposters’. I’d never seen Imposter Syndrome broken down in this way before, but it makes so much sense that it will manifest differently depending on a person’s background, personality, and work environment.

Here are the five types and some of their characteristic behaviours:

• The Perfectionist — Perfectionists set extremely high expectations for themselves and start to doubt their capabilities and feel like a failure if they don’t meet 100% of their goals.
• The Superhero — Superheroes see themselves as not as good as others, so push themselves to work harder than those around them to prove they aren’t imposters.
• The Natural Genius — Natural Geniuses are used to skills coming easily to them, and so they feel ashamed when they struggle with something. They often don’t realise there’s a mid stage process called learning.
• The Soloist — Soloists believe they need to accomplish tasks by themselves, feeling that asking for help means they’re a failure or a fraud.
• The Expert — Experts feel like they need every piece of information before starting a task. They won’t apply for a job if they don’t meet every single criteria and are hesitant to speak up at work because they are afraid of looking stupid.

I feel like I am a mix of all of them, but can recognise the Natural Genius in the struggles I experienced as a Junior Engineer. Moving from Publishing, where everything came easily, to me to a career in Engineering, I felt stupid for not understanding things as quickly as other people. I ignored the fact that my colleagues have years more experience than me and used this feeling of stupidity to convince myself that I didn’t belong. Do you recognise yourself in any of the types?

It was really inspiring to hear from members of the audience about their own experiences of Imposter Syndrome, and I wish I’d been able to face my own fears and take the microphone!

Techniques

We were then taught some techniques for each of these types. It was helpful to recognise that because they have different causes, they require different approaches.

• The Perfectionist — Change your mindset. Remind yourself that it’s ok to not be perfect all the time.
• The Natural Genius — Embrace a Growth mindset and give yourself time to learn new skills. It could be good to work with a mentor or ask colleagues for feedback.
• The Superhero — Practise self care. Dedicate time to take off work and make sure you rest.
• The Soloist — Talk to more people. Join team projects, share your experiences, and trust colleagues to help you.
• The Expert — Practise learning on the job. Apply to the role anyway, even though you don’t feel 100% prepared. Pick up skills as you go.

We learned that most forms of Imposter Syndrome are caused by low self esteem. By boosting your belief in yourself, you can tackle your feelings of inadequacy.

Here are some more general techniques which apply for all of the types:

• Develop self awareness
• Reframe how you view failure, seeing it as an opportunity to learn
• Stop comparing yourself to others
• Know your strengths
• Embrace your successes
• Create balance in your life
• Keep things in perspective
• Set realistic expectations
• Cultivate self compassion
• Seek support and talk about it

Remember: it’s a journey, not a destination.

Tips

The speakers then invited the group to share some tools that have helped them personally.

A big one that has helped me over the last year is to treat your self belief like a muscle. Every time you do something that scares you, you get a little bit stronger. For example, I used to really struggle to speak up in certain weekly meetings so my coach set me the goal of speaking up once in each meeting. She told me to force myself to do it, however uncomfortable it felt, until it became a habit. The technique worked! Soon, I started finding myself speaking up without even realising it.

Another useful tip I gained from my coach which was also mentioned is to write down your successes. I have a list called ‘Eliza’s Record of Achievements’ which I update at the end of every week, and which reminds me of my successes whenever I’m feeling down. It’s also really useful for performance reviews, because I have real proof of everything I’ve achieved. I actually used it in the summer to convince the Head of Engineering that I was ready to apply for a promotion! I include screenshots of compliments from colleagues, add links to every piece of work I’ve delivered, and even record small wins, like times I’ve said something useful in a retro. Next year, I’m going to take this one step further and follow the speaker’s advice to write a list of things that went well at the end of every day.

We were also encouraged to question why we’re trying so hard. Who is it for? Most of the time, we’re trying to impress someone or looking externally for validation, rather than simply being proud of ourselves. We have this voice in our heads because we care, so treat it as a friend not an enemy.

My final takeaways were to celebrate small successes, practise positive affirmation, adjust to more realistic goals, and give ourselves time to learn new skills.

Some amazing advice was shared, as well as a couple of particularly emotional confessions. I’m really grateful to everyone for opening up about their personal experiences of Imposter Syndrome and for making the rest of us feel less alone.

Conclusion

Overall, the Imposter Syndrome workshop was one of my favourite events of the conference. I gained more understanding about why we experience it and how it manifests and learned some genuinely useful techniques for suppressing the voices that tell us we don’t deserve success.

I don’t think Imposter Syndrome ever goes away; you just learn to overcome it. As I prepare to change careers again, I know that these feelings will resurface. I also know that I have the tools to deal with them.